Just moments ago, Kellen Funk decided to assuage his loneliness by ensuring that he would get an email every minute for the rest of his life. Here was his plan. He setup his first email account so that it forwarded every incoming email to his second account. Then he setup his second email account so that it forwarded every incoming email to his first account. “Hee hee hee!” he exclaimed. “I have established a recursive loop!” (Since he doesn’t know what the word recursive means, I’m taking that as evidence that he is possessed.) With a diabolical chuckle, heedless of my pleas that he might crash the email server, he sent himself an email with the subject line “fun fun fun.” When he got his first reply, he smiled. Then when he got the second reply, he exclaimed, “I’m going to receive another email every minute for the rest of my life! Hee hee hee.” When the third came, his joy was overwhelming: “The next time that someone leaves their email address open, this is what I’m going to do. He he he. Imagine John Barnett when he comes back from class and has two hundred emails from himself! Hee hee hee.”

Kellen vainly waited for five minutes for another reply, but it never came. The University’s email server was smart enough to break his recursive loop and, thus, to break his little girlfriend-forsaken heart. So much for our entertainment for the night.