Ping-Pong with Scott
After much study this afternoon—Plato, American legal history, sacramentalism in early Puritanism—and a phone call from Scott’s mother that encouraged him to get out more, Scott and I went to the social parlor. We played several games of ping-pong, though for me the primary entertainment was trying to hit the ball into the midst of dating couples. If their was no midst separating the couple (a thing that is not allowed here at BJU), I tried to hit them. I was moderately successful.
The ostensible purpose of our visit to the dating parlor was to play ping-pong; the real purpose was to find a girl for Scott. There were several girls who seemed to be pretty bad ping-pong players because their balls kept going out of bounds near him. I think they were really pretty but pretending to be bad so that they could get near Scott. He disagrees.
I even came up with a plan to introduce him to the hostess. In order to borrow the ping-pong equipment, one must have his ID card scanned by the hostess. I suggested that he attempt the following dialogue:
Scott: Hi. Could I have two ping-pong paddles please?
Hostess: Sure. Could I have your ID card please?
Scott: Here you go.
He hands her the id card. She scans it, noticing his name on the computer screen.
Hostess: You’re all set, Scott.
Scott: In a suave tone. You know my name now, so I find myself at a disadvantage. What’s your name, baby?
He wouldn’t go for it this week, but there’s always next Saturday.

Posted 10 Sep. 2005 at 10:28 pm | Permalink
Wow Scott. Are you getting worried about this whole girl thing?
I have another idea to meet a girl.
Ask LM to call public safety for you each night. Maybe a female officer will drive you back to your dorm some night.
Posted 11 Sep. 2005 at 6:42 pm | Permalink
Why didn’t we have Kellen pray for this??
Posted 11 Sep. 2005 at 9:06 pm | Permalink
ya’ll need more homework- but to let you know, it’s all about matching the belt with the shoes, girls dig that…dude, if Kellen prayed for every desperate boy on campus (which category i am generously leaving you out of, Scott) we’d all’ve died of starvation…
Posted 11 Sep. 2005 at 10:49 pm | Permalink
Ummm…wow. It’s nice to see how you spend quality time with your friends. You probably should work on the little speech you prepared. Just thought I would let you know. Sad.
Posted 12 Sep. 2005 at 8:47 am | Permalink
Scott, maybe you should try eHarmony?
Posted 12 Sep. 2005 at 11:49 pm | Permalink
Looks like I need to set a few things straight. First, no I am not panicked. Second I don’t think I would ever say that sort of thing to a girl. And third I was heavily medicated, for my cold, at the time that I approved the idea of Lincoln writing this. Oh well.
Posted 13 Sep. 2005 at 6:46 pm | Permalink
Don’t be heavily medicated around Lincoln. You will end up with a lot of these posts about ping-pong.
Posted 17 Sep. 2005 at 12:24 am | Permalink
Come now, I didn’t think the speech was so bad. It could be saved. Leaving out “baby” would be a good start. It’s rare for a girl to hear a good pick-up line at BJ. She might find it refreshing. Just don’t follow it up with “So, do you play the piano?”
Posted 17 Sep. 2005 at 9:19 pm | Permalink
[...] Note: This post, unlike last Saturday’s post, has been approved by the Anti-Defamation of Scott Culler League. [...]
Posted 3 Aug. 2006 at 2:19 pm | Permalink
Absolutely hilarious! I laughed until I cried.